The Mutilator (1985)

If you're a fan of 80's slashers, theres a good chance that you've heard of The Mutilator. I know I have... multiple times, in fact. To be honest, there was a period in my life where I COULD NOT escape this film. It seemed like every time I forgot about it, IMDB was there to remind me that it still existed by stuffing it in the "Recommended For You" section of whatever page I was on at the moment. Despite all of this, I refused to give it the time of day. Months passed, and I thought was done with the film once and for all. Then, this past Sunday rolled around and the damn thing reared its ugly head once again... this time on Youtube. I was browing when all of a sudden, "The Mutilator (1985) UNCUT" popped up in the "Related Videos" sidebar.  With nothing better to do, I finally clicked on it to see what all the hype was about...

Lets just start by saying that Buddy Cooper wastes no time when it comes to back story.  As mom prepares a cake in the kitchen, little Ed Jr. sits in the other room polishing a rifle. Apparently its his dads birthday, and what better gift could you possibly give yer father than a cabinet full of clean guns? Why a child is allowed to handle a loaded gun (unsupervised) in the first place is beyond me, but who the hell cares?! All that matters is within the first 2 minutes, Ed Jr. accidentally fires that shit into his moms back all the way from the living room, killing her instantly. If anything, you have to admire how good of a shot the kid is. Not only is the door to the kitchen closed (COMPLETELY obstructing his view)... he isn't even aiming at her to begin with! Hes a natural, but 10 seconds later when his dad arrives thats the least of his concerns. He could give a shit less about his sons knack for firing. He doesn't want to know how it happened or anything! In fact, neither party says a word. You would think there would at least be SOME questioning or Ed Jr. would attempt to explain himself, but nahhh. The first 3 minutes of this film are dialogue free. Instead, dear old dad drags his dead wifes body into the living room and pours himself a drink. He then discovers a note that reads "Happy Birthday Daddy All Cleaned By ME!" tacked onto the gun cabinet, which he slaps onto his wifes chest before dumping some liquor down her throat too. I guess this is supposed to indicate that he is in shock or has completely lost his mind. All I could make of it was "Hey, I want to waste some liquor!" or "Heres a very DIRECT toast to all my dead homies."

Since there is no title card to indicate how big the gap in time is, I'm not sure when the next part of the film takes place. When the scene fades in, everyones sitting around in a restaurant drinking and swapping stories an--- Wait, what? Thats Ed Jr.? and hes a college student now? Jeez, him and his friends sure didn't age well. As it turns out, Eddy has received a note from his father asking him to clean up their beach house. While Ed's on the phone with his dad, the friends casually discuss how he shot his mother, which pretty much sets the tone for the rest of the film. I don't care how dark the beginning was, the entire thing does a complete 180 from here on out. Ed Jr.'s buddies coax him into cleaning up the place, and decide to tag along since they have nothing better to do during Fall Break (the original title of the film). We're finally presented with opening credits, which are accompanied by a happy go lucky theme song (also called "Fall Break") and some random scenes of the kids buying beer/drinking and driving. This shit seriously plays out like a mid 80's teen comedy... NOT a slasher film.

Our ragtag group of shitheads finally arrives at the joint, only to find that the door is already open and things have been moved around. LOTS of liquor has been drank, and a gigantic fucking battle axe is missing. Despite his girlfriend begging him multiple times to phone the police about a possible break in, Ed Jr. insists that his dad came up there, drank with his buddies, and took the axe home. The idea of an intruder in the house is quickly swept under the rug and the kids begin partying without a care in the world.  Little do they know dad is hiding out in the garage, waiting to murder his son for something he did years ago... along with anyone else who gets in his way. Why he waited all this time is a mystery, but one things for certain; the sun WILL go down, and dad will come out to play.

The Mutilator is famous for its over the top death scenes and so-so acting, and after viewing its easy to see why. Without those two things, it nothing more than a run of the mill slasher with terrible dialogue and an even worse score. Seriously, whoever composed the soundtrack for this film must also be responsible for all the empty liquor bottles back at the beach house. The piano numbers are painfully upbeat for a horror film, and one song actually reminded me of the theme from Cheers. I couldn't tell if they were trying to make a comedy, a serious horror film, or both.

Example: A brutal murder is followed by a cartoonish scene of a guy getting dressed in fast-mo after his girlfriend teases him with sex.

The same guy takes a pitchfork in the throat later in the film and is able to scream at the top of his lungs until he perishes. However, a girl being strangled can't manage to yell for help or make even the slightest noise? Did I mention theres a blooper reel during the end credits? Thats right folks, the same film that has a very graphic scene involving a gaff and a vagina also has a gag reel at the end, reminiscent of the opening credits of Full House. OH, and that silly "Fall Break" song makes one last appearance before all is said and done.

According to IMDB, this was Buddy Cooper's only attempt as a writer, director, or producer so maybe I'm being a bit harsh.  During the end credits I noticed that family members made up a lot of the cast, leading me to believe that he didn't have many resources and probably didn't intend for this thing to develop the cult following that it has over the years. I guess when you take all that into consideration, its a pretty good first time effort and they obviously had fun making it.

Funny? Yes!

Entertaining? Definitely!

Cult Classic? Hardly.

The Mutilator is an easily forgettable slasher with a couple of cool kills (and some dialogue) that'll make ya cringe. Watch this one with some friends and a case of booze.

Score: 2.5/5.0